I just got home from a cruise to Bermuda. I'm going to vent a bit while everything is still fresh in my mind...
*Just because you can carry it on does not mean it's carry-on. No matter what angle you push a 20 inch bag into a 10 inch compartment, it ain't gonna fit.
*Elevator doors close automatically. You don't have to start pushing the "close door" button incessantly the second you step on the elevator, just so you can get to your destination half a second sooner.
*What is the sense in bringing babies or very young children on a cruise? You're going to be with them 24 hours a day in a confined space, so it's not a vacation for you, and they have no idea what's going on. Wait until they're old enough to walk around the ship on their own. Say about 12 or so.
*The buffet will NOT run out of food. You don't have to push people out the way so you can grab 2 of everything on one trip. That little walk you have to take to get seconds might actually do you some good.
*Just because you can squeeze into a bathing suit does not necessarily mean it fits.
*"No flash photography during the show" seems like a very simple request, doesn't it? I guess maybe not for some people.
*If every cruise line did everything exactly the same, there would only have to be one cruise line. Stop saying "that's not how they do it on the other cruise line".

That's all I can think of for now. I'm kind of tired from the trip home. Sail on!

Thank you for your time.

Tomorrow is July 4th. That's Independence Day here in the States. I remember a poll a few years ago where they asked Americans when Independence Day was celebrated. Only about half of them knew. There was no follow-up question for the people that got it wrong. Something like "Why is the fourth of July such a big deal?" I'm really curious about what their answer would have been. I'm not even going to attempt a guess. My mind can't switch into "stupid" mode that readily without some alcoholic assistance. I am willing to bet that every immigrant who wants to become a citizen of this country can answer those questions without hesitation. But for all those Bubbas who will spend tomorrow afternoon drinking beer and firing bottle rockets at each other, it's just a day off of work. A three day weekend! Whooo! OK, I have to confess something...I plan on spending tomorrow afternoon drinking beer. There will be no bottle rockets involved, however. Real men use roman candles. I just want to make it clear, I don't consider myself more patriotic than the average American. I just wish that more Americans would appreciate what they have.

Thank you for your time.

If you were to ask a professional writer for advice on how to get started in the business, they would probably say something like "write about the things that you know best." Or something to that effect. I'm just guessing about that, since I am (clearly) not a professional writer. I have been asked by some people, for reasons that are not entirely clear to me, not to write about certain things. I will comply with that request, because I aim to please. It is a weakness of mine. That, and my arms. I have very weak arms. But powerful, powerful legs. I guess you could say I'm very much like a t-rex in some ways. Except for the giant lizard part. And the extinction. I'm pretty sure I'm not extinct. Or a lizard of any size. I've been called a snake before, but not a lizard. At least not that I know of. For all I know, people are constantly calling me a gecko behind my back. Or an iguana. But never a newt. I can't think of any circumstances where anybody would be inclined to call me a newt. So, I guess my point would be...Timberland makes some very comfortable boots.

Thank you for your time.

Are you one of those people who steps on the brakes every once in a while for no apparent reason? If you are, why do you do it? Are you trying to get yourself killed in some kind of road-rage incident? Maybe you're one of those who refuse to turn right on red, even though it's perfectly legal and safe to do so. I guess you just like having the power to hold up all the cars behind you. I'll bet you're the guy that blows through a yield sign to get in front of traffic, only to slow down once you get into the flow. And you know those signs that say "right lane ends, merge left"? They actually mean the right lane ends and you should merge left. They don't mean stay in the right lane until there is no more right lane, then disrupt the flow of traffic by trying to edge your way in with the people who actually believed the sign.
That's all for now, just a bit of road rage ranting.

Thank you for your time.

I have no respect for people who are willing to compromise their core beliefs in order to make a few people happy. At the moment, I have no respect for myself.

Thank you for your time.