While I'm still on-line I just wanted to voice my opinion about Bill Cowhers's resignation. I have stated before that i was born and raised in Pittsburgh and still live in the greater Pittsburgh area. Some people will take Cowher's resignation personally. As if he were abandoning the team and the fans. These people are misguided. This man gave 15 years of his life to the Steelers. The second longest of any head coach in the history of the team. He took the team to the playoffs in 10 of his 15 seasons. He had 4 losing seasons in his fifteen years. By my math that makes 11 competitive years out of 15. EVERY owner in the NFL would love those kind of numbers. Most NFL fans would love those kind of numbers. Nobody anywhere should be angry at this man for calling it a day. I've said before that my life is not affected by whether the Steelers win or lose. But I'm glad I was able to watch Bill Cowher and Chuck Noll coach the Steelers in my lifetime. I can only hope that the Steeler's next coach will have some success. And really, really thick skin. Pittsburgh fans tend to be a bit critical.

Thank you for your time.

I meant to write this a week ago. That was when my wife dragged me (kicking and screaming) to listen to her favorite country music singer. Let me get this straight from the start...I have nothing against this man personally or professionally. He has a job to do and he does it well. ( see "joe patrick.net") And it's not the music i have all that much against. Although. if you were to put a country music station on and force me to listen to it, I would not be able to tell you when one song ended and the next one began. Just like Rap and Disco. I can tolerate country music. What really gets me is the fans. The over-weight, under-educated, talk-too-loud, drink-too-much, bathe-too-little, shouldn't-be-allowed-to-procreate country music fans. But I'm not one to judge. Why is it when 2 or more men dressed like cowboys go on to a dance floor and do the "YMCA" with each other it's gay? But when 2 or more men dressed like cowboys go on a dance floor and do the "Boot Scoot Boogie" together they're considered the manliest men since manly men walked the face of this manly man Earth?
And why, for God's sake, is it so hard for female country music fans to find a pair of jeans that fit? Is it really necessary to wear your jeans so tight that your gynecologist is finding denim fibers? And what's the deal with those cowboy hats? Fighting off a lot of sunlight and dust in the club, are ya? Women, if you really want to look good, put on some leather chaps. And nothing much more. And men, if YOU really want to look good, go to the local gay bar dressed just the way you are. You will NOT be pressed for attention. And you'll learn a whole new meaning of achy breaky.
By the way...I hope everybody who bothers to read this has a fantastic 2007.

Thank you for your time.

Today I am writing about something that nobody but me can possibly care about. My favorite movies.

"The Right Stuff"
My favorite movie of all time. It's about America's first astronauts. Just about everyone in the cast does a great job, but Sam Shepard as Chuck Yeager and Ed Harris as John Glenn are outstanding. I could have done without Jeff Goldblum and Harry Shearer as the comic relief government guys.

The rest of these are in no particular order...

"The Legend of 1900"
Tim Roth plays a man who born on and spends his entire life aboard a luxury liner. Along the way he becomes a piano playing genius. Pruitt Taylor Vince plays a trumpet player who befriends him. Both men turn in great perfomances. My favorite scene in the "piano duel" between 1900 (the name he goes by, hence the movie's title) and Jelly Roll Morton (played by Clarence Williams III). Good acting, good story, good music.

"Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
Funniest movie ever.

"Forbidden Planet"
A science fiction re-working of Shakespeare's "The Tempest". Not that it matters. The film that introduced the world to Robby the robot. Supposedly this is the movie that inspired Gene Roddenberry to create "Star Trek". A bit dated, but still watchable. The wierd eletronic music can be a bit irritating.

"Plan 9 From Outer Space"
Considered by many to be the worst movie ever made. Not even close. I own dozens of movies that are worse than this. Don't get me wrong This movie is a stinker. I like to call it the best bad movie ever made. Flying saucers with clearly visible strings. Plywood tombstones and crypts. Scenes that switch from daytime to nighttime and back again at random. And a lead actor that actually died BEFORE production began on the movie. All the scenes featuring Bela Lugosi were basically just home movies inserted at random. Another non-look-alike actor replaced him. Directed by Ed Wood. Speaking of which...

"Ed Wood"
Tim Burton's biography of the cross dressing director of "Plan 9". Johnny Depp is FANTASTIC as the title character. Martin Landau is so good at playing Lugosi that you forget its not really him. The fact that this is a true story makes the over the top performances by just about all the actors involved makes this movie all the better.

"The Commitments"
A bunch of poor Irish people get together and form a soul band. Good movie. Great soundtrack.

"Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan"
I don't know what is more fake looking...William Shatner's fake hair or Ricardo Molteban's fake chest. It's a tie. Spock's ears are more realistic. Anyway, this is far and away the best "Star Trek" movie because it plays like an extra long episode of the original series. And Kirstie Alley makes one hot Vulcan babe.

"Murder by Death"
A dead on parody of 40's detective movies. Peter Falk rises above the rest of the talented cast as a Bogie-like detective. Peter Sellers is his usual funny self as a Charlie Chan type. Even Truman Capote manages to hold his own among a group of great actors. As far as I know, this is the only Neil Simon movie that was not based on one of his plays.

"The Princess Bride"
The closest thing to a chick flick that you'll find on this list. Andre the Giant turns in a poignant performance as Fedick the Giant. A real stretch for him. Seriously, though, a pretty good "popcorn" movie. It has something for everyone. The humor is great. Pretty cool sword fight too.

"The Big Red One"
I like WWII movies. This is my favorite. A small group of soldiers manages to stay alive while everyone around them keeps getting killed. Lee Marvin plays the sergeant, Mark Hamill plays a gun-shy soldier and Robert Carridine plays a writer and the movie's narrator. Spielberg must have come up with the idea for "Saving Private Ryan" while he was watching this one...there are a LOT of rip-offs, I mean similarities.

"Waiting for Guffman"/"Best in Show"/"A Mighty Wind"
The Christopher Guest improve trilogy. I will probably add "For Your Consideration" when I get around to seeing it. These mostly unscripted comedies are extremely funny. The same group of actors appear in all of them but they never play the same character twice. Eugene Levy, Fred Willard, Catherine O'Hara and Guest himself are consistently hilarious. All the movies are done in the "Spinal Tap" fake documetary style.

"Big Trouble in Little China"
John Carpenter's best movie. Hard to explain what it's about with a few short sentences. Just watch it when you get a chance. You will not be disappointed.

"Slap Shot"
A movie about a hockey team.

"The Other"
Not to be confused with "The Others". This movie was actually scary. A young boy is being guided to do evil things by his dead twin brother. Or is he? The only movie that ever actually scared me.

"Close Encounters of the Third Kind"
This movie really hit home with me, having been abducted by aliens myself on several occasions. It's a bit longer than it has to be, but that's Speilberg's style. Even in the newer digitally enhanced versions the FX are a bit dated. Still, I enjoy watching it when I can.

"Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie"
I loved the TV show so I had to include the movie on this list. Mike and the robots pick apart "This Island Earth" in this one. I wish they would have used a worse movie. But it is still watchable.

"Excalibur"
The best treatment of the King Arthur legend ever put on film. Except for "Holy Grail" of course.

"Any Japanese Movie Featuring Godzilla or Any Other Giant Monster"
I'm a fan of bad movies, and these are some of the worst. Maybe it's the English traslations that make them so bad. For all I know, in the original Japanese, these movies are pure genius. Can't get past those rubber costumes, though. Fun to watch.

"Hammer Studios Horror Films of the 60's and 70's"
You can have Bela Lugosi. Christopher Lee will always be the best Dracula as far as I'm concerned. Hammer films had a good mixture of horror, humor and sensuality.

"Auntie Mame"
The story af a boy being raised by his VERY excentric aunt. It always seemed to be on TV at Christmas time when I was a kid. It was filmed in such a way that the audience feels as though they are watching a stage play. Which makes sense, since it was a play before it was a movie. Funny, well acted and well produced. A good family movie.

"Big Fish"
Another Tim Burton movie (see "Ed Wood"). The story of a man who likes to tell stories. Ewan McGregor and Albert Finney play younger and older versions of the story teller. Alison Lohman and Jessica Lange play younger and older versions of his wife. A good movie with a good story, a good cast and a very moving ending.

I will be adding to this list and re-posting when I get a chance.

Thank you for your time"

What makes "Jingle Bells" a Christmas song? Or "Winter Wonderland"? Or "Sleigh Ride"? None of those songs mention Christmas or Santa or Jesus. They just mention snow and cold and hot cocoa and such. I hear songs like "Summertime" and "Summer in the City" and "In the Summertime" all year 'round. Maybe those songs make sense in San Diego and Miami all year 'round, but here in the north east they just make us bitter and angry. How would you Miamians (Miamiites?)like to hear "Baby, It's Cold Outside" in July? As a Pennsylvanian, I can tell you, I wouldn't mind. I don't think that just because a song mentions snow, ice, cold cocoa, or long underwear, that it should be relegated to the few short cold, snowy, dismal weeks between Halloween and New Year's. Give us something cool to daydream about during the dog days of summer. If you can play the Beach Boys in January, then why not play Perry Como in July?
I warned you not to read this.
Thank you for your time.

Now, let me say right off the bat that I am NOT some anti-smoking militant. Smoking is perfectly legal (if you're over 18) and it doesn't bother me one way or the other if you choose to poison yourself. I do belive that it is a filthy and disgusting habit. I am entitled to my opinion. Right?

Anyway, that is not the point of this particular blog. In a few weeks it will be illegal to smoke inside public buildings in this county. That includes most restaurants and bars. Naturally the local radio call-in shows are flooded with people complaining about losing their "right" to smoke in public. This cracks me up. Just because something is legal does not mean you have a right to do it in public. Consensual sex between two adults is legal, but if you want to do it in the middle of a restaurant you make get some complaints. Some people might enjoy wearing clear saran wrap as clothing around the house, but that's were it better stay ( with the blinds closed, please). I could go on. And I'm sure there are thousands of people out there who will say "well, that' no the same thing". It isn't, I know. I spend a lot of time in bars. I can tolerate cigarette smoke. I just leave my smoke infested clothes in the garage when I get home.
Smoking may be your right, but the rest of us have rights too. Like the right to spend an evening out and not have to wash the stink out of our hair before we go to bed. I'm looking forward to January 1st. By the way, I don't know where I first heard it but I agree with it..."Having a smoking section in a restaraunt is like having a peeing section in a swimming pool".

Thank you for your time.