I don't really have anything to say tonight, but I felt like posting a blog anyway. I'm sitting in my office right now. There are lots of books on the shelves. I've read all of them. Other than the reference books, I have no intention of ever reading the again. So why do I still have them? Am I a pack rat? Is there really an animal called a pack rat? I guess there must be. You can't really compare somebody to something that doesn't exist. Like saying an ugly guy looks like Frankenstein. But we all know that Frankenstein was the creator, not the monster. And in most movies I've seen, Dr. Frankenstein wasn't ugly. So there. I was watching "The Simpsons" earlier tonight. Funny show. It's been on the air for a long time. Like "Gunsmoke" or "60 Minutes". I saw "Superman Returns" last week. It was OK. Some critics called it the best super hero movie ever. It wasn't even the best Superman movie ever. At least it was better than that one with Richard Pryor. That was bad. Really, really bad. "Batman Begins" was good. Katie Holmes was not. She was horribly miscast in that movie. She's a cutie though. That Tom Cruise is on lucky Scientologist. I don't care much for organized religion. I call myself a Catholic, but I'm not a very good one. Buddism might be good for me. All that inner peace crap. Does getting drunk and staring at a bug zapper count as meditation? I like when the big moths fly into it. They actually burst into flames. Very cool. And they do it one after the other. You would think they'd see their buddy get zapped and say "f*** this, look what happened to Stan". Stan is a very common name among moths. I don't see the point of naming any animals. You know they don't understand what you're saying. You can call your dog by a different name every day and he would still come to you. Until you stop feeding him. Then he'll rip your throat out while you sleep. I don't have any pets. I have kids. Teenagers. They're just as likely to do some throat ripping. Damn kids. Get off my lawn!

Thank you for your time.

Now, I don't want to sound like my parents, but today's kids are spoiled rotten. My kids are included, although it is the fault of my wife (make that wives, my ex is just as bad) and not me. I can not name one person under the age of 18 that does not have at least a video game system, cell phone, MP3 player, computer or whatever the next big thing is. When I was a kid if something new and exciting (like "Pong") came out, only one in ten kids had it. If that! Now, when something new and exciting comes out, parents are actully camping out in front of stores so that their little darlings are among the first to get it. Who are these parents? And why are they doing this. A whole new generation of people who don't know the difference between "want" and "need" is being created. These kids are in for a rude awakening when they have to go out on their own and realize they have to make a choice between eating for a week or buying that next new gadget. Of course, I'm sure they'll just call Mommy, and she'll gladly go camp out for it.

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Why, in God's name, do they put pockets in pajama bottoms and lounge pants? They serve no purpose that I can imagine. All they do is bunch up in the middle of the night and make it feel like I'm sleeping on potatoes.

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A few day ago some little angels were caught on video slashing tires on cars. It was around 1 a.m. Of course, after the little darlings were arrested, at least one of their mothers was on TV blaming their behavior on the lack of anything better for the kids to do in that neighborhood. You know, like recreation centers, playgrounds, sports courts...the kind of things that always get vandalized by the punks that they are supposed to keep out of trouble. But thats another blog at another time. Getting back to the tire slashers. I remind you, it was 1 a.m. The kids were 12 to 14 years old. Mommy blamed the city for not keeping her son entertained. Where was mommy when her little angel was leaving the house in the middle of the night? That's right, Mommy, blame everyone but your irresponsible-mother-of-the-year self.

Then there are the ridiculous lawsuits in this country. Somebody gets drunk and crashes their car - sue the bartender. Somebody spills hot coffee in their lap - sue the restaurant. Somebody ignores the no trespassing and beware of dog signs - sue the homeowner. Somebody gets lung cancer - sue the tobacco company. Give me an effin' break!
If you got fat it ain't McDonald's fault. If you broke your leg it ain't the trampoline companies fault. It is your fault. People do things every day that they know they shouldn't do. But when something goes wrong, they find somebody else to blame for their own stupidity. Personal responsibility is becoming more and more scarce in this world. I have always said that if just 1 percenct of the population would use a little more common sense, 90 percent of the lawyers would go out of business.

I have to go now. I cut myself shaving this morning and I'm working on a lawsuit against Gillette.

Thank you for you time.

I must have one of those faces. You know the ones. The kind of face that makes strangers want to tell you their life stories. I spend a fair amount of time in drinking establishments. It seems to me that each time I enter one of these places, some stranger wants to have a conversation with me. I am not there for conversation. You can tell I don't want to talk because I always find the seat farthest away from everyone else in there. Maybe I look lonely, sitting there all by myself, because eventually some stranger comes up to me and starts talking to me. I'm not rude, so I sit there and take it. Maybe I should tell them to shove off or something. But I am just not like that. I do, however, try to keep my side of the conversation as minimal and boring as possible. Hoping that they will grow tired of me and go away. This doesn't usually work. It seem to make them think that I need more alcohol to loosen up, so they start buying me drinks. I actually like that part. Now, these people aren't trying to pick me up or anything. I know that they are probably lonely and just need some company. The problem is I'm terribly shy and a lousy conversationalist. So I actually feel kind of guilty that I'm not better company for these people. But I look around the place, and on some nights I see a dozen or more people sitting alone. So why am I the target for the one person who is looking for a conversation? Like I said, I must have one of those faces.

Thank you for your time.