What does it take to be considered an expert in something? I was thinking about this as I was putting gas into my car this morning. I noticed that the price of gas had actually dropped at this particular station. That's not what the "experts" said was going to happen. The "experts" said gas would be over $4 a gallon and possibly be pushing $5 a gallon by Independence Day. It seems that every time the price of gas starts to go up, some "expert" goes on TV telling us to get ready to sell all our worldly possessions in order to fill up the old gas guzzler. Then, when the price of gas starts to drop, the same "experts" tell us it might even get below $2 a gallon or less! Man, that kind of "expertise" must take decades of education an experience.

It's not just gas "experts" either. Last year, weather "experts" predicted the worst hurricane season in recorded history. Then, when not a single major storm approached the U.S., they went on TV and said "never mind". Just like that character Gilda Radner used to play on SNL. And the "experts" who make sports predictions are almost NEVER right. Yet networks and magazines still pay these people for their predictions. Makes me wonder how one earns the title of "expert". Maybe all it takes to be an expert is to spout out whatever thought crosses into your feeble little mind. Then get paid for it. An expert who doesn't get compensation for his opinion is just a blow-hard know-it-all windbag. So, if I can get somebody to pay me for writing this useless crap, then I can start calling myself an "expert".

Thank you for your time.

It's amazing the way the mind can wander. Earlier today, as I was hosing off the back deck, I started thinking about a movie called "The Terror Of Tiny Town". No particular reason. It just popped into my head. If you're not familiar with this masterpiece of cinema, it's a western with an all midget cast. Now, I know "midget" is not politically correct, but the credits actually say "Jed Buell's Midgets". So, if they can say it, then so can I. Anyway, in the closing credits listing the cast it says "Nita Krebs as the Vampire". I've seen this movie a few times and I can not remember any vampire in the movie. Like I said, it's a western. But while my mind was wandering I started thinking about other possibilities for all midget movies. "Dracula" would be interesting. Maybe Nita Krebs could play a rancher in that one. "Frankenstein" would be good, too. They could get a really tall midget, say about 4 foot 6, to play the monster. They could remake "Titanic" on a 30 foot yacht. And in "Wizard of Oz" Dorothy could run into giants instead of munchkins. Somehow.
My mind is starting to wander again so I'll leave it at that.

Thank you for your time.

I'm no animal lover. I don't have any pets. I eat meat. Lots of meat. I have no problem with harvesting animals for food. Whether it's ranching, farming or hunting, I don't care where it comes from. As long as it ends up on my plate. But...I do not believe in torturing animals for fun. Michael Vick and some of his NFL buddies don't seem to have a problem with that. Organized dog fighting id just plain wrong. So is cock fighting and monkey knife fights. Vick must have taken a few too many hits to the head. Or maybe steroids have fried his brain. There is no other explanation for his running dog fights. Something is definitely wrong with him mentally. Anybody who enjoys watching a living thing get tortured has to be warped. Whether it's frying ants with a magnifying glass or watching a matador stab a bull to death, it's all the same. If you enjoy this sort of thing then maybe you should go ahead and check yourself into the nearest ha-ha hotel.

By the way...I'm anti fur. Not because of the way the animals are treated, but because I think that fur coats look ridiculous. I have no problem with leather.

Thank you for your time.

If you ever need proof that people are lazy, just look around the parking lot of a supermarket. Only about half the people bother to walk their carts "all the way" to the little cart return station. And most of the people who do take this trip don't bother to put the carts in neatly. Instead of pushing the cart snuggly into the one in front of it, most people just let their carts sort of roll into the little cart pen and let it land where it lands. After all, it's not their job to make sure these things are done neatly. No. That super difficult job usually falls to some retiree carrying an oxygen pack. Hey, he wanted the job, let him get the most of it.

I saw a rugby match on TV and it got me to thinking about football helmets. The kind American football players wear. I was wondering what purpose they serve. Football is played on a fairly soft surface so it can't be to protect from ground impacts. Wearing a helmet is not going to prevent any sort of neck or spine injuries. About the only thing a football helmet seems to protect it's wearer from is other football helmets. Honestly. I can think of no other purpose. So, if American football players would "man up" and go helmetless like rugby players, I think that there would actually be FEWER injuries.

I'm going to my kid's school chorus concert tomorrow night. No matter how much you love your children and no matter how much school spirit you pretend to have, you have to admit, these things are TEDIOUS! Sometimes the chorus director tries to break the monotony by throwing in a little "creative genius". One time he had all the boys sing a calypso song in their bathing suits and sunglasses. This sight was worth, maybe, a little chuckle at the beginning. But I looked around and there were parents laughing hysterically for the entire 3 minutes of the song. Come on now. A little polite laughter would suffice. If there are people out there that would laugh that hard at a simple one-joke act, I guess that would explain the popularity of movies made by Adam Sandler or the Wayans brothers.

Thank you for your time.

I just saw a promo on ABC for their new game show. It looks so exciting I can barely contain myself. I'm giddy with anticipation! What is it, you might ask, that has my heart racing with excitement? BINGO! B-I-N-G-O! Oh boy! I can NOT wait! Nothing can be more exciting than playing Bingo, unless, of course, it's watching other people play Bingo. Those programming geniuses at ABC really have their fingers on the pulse of the average American television viewer. This has been a long time coming. I didn't think anyone would ever be able to top the excitement of "Deal Or No Deal", but they did it. Now, instead of getting to watch people pick a number between 1 and 26, we get to watch them place pennies on small pieces of cardboard. The level of action has at least tripled! I know I will never get bored with this show. Until somebody decides to air "Championship Solitaire".

Thank you for your time.