The weather here in the northeastern United States has been very un-springlike. Cold, rainy, snowy, gray...pretty much totally sunless. Mother Nature did give us a day or two of summer-like days a few weeks ago. Then yanked the warm and sunny rug right out from under our feet. The result of that little tease is a bunch of dead roses and runny noses. Everywhere I go I here people complaining about the weather. This is a total waste of time and energy. Now, if you get an under-cooked piece of chicken in a diner, then go ahead and complain. Or if your paper boy keeps throwing your paper into puddles, go ahead and complain. But don't complain about the weather. It can't be changed. Nothing anybody does or says is going to make the clouds go away. I saw a weatherman from a local newscast at a store last week. The woman in front of me actually bitched at him "thanks for the snow". He just kinda smiled, shrugged and walked away. I'm sure he has to put up with crap like that all the time. I wonder if the regular news news anchors have to deal with it. "Hey, Katie Couric, thanks for the war in Iraq". The stations always make a big deal about the weathermen being certified meteorologists. As if that's important. Really, all you have to do is be able to read, or even just memorize what you are told to say, to report the weather. I just want to know what the weather is going to be like. I don't need a science lesson on why the weather is the way it is. The weather portion of the news is about five minutes long. That's about four minutes too much. Now there's something worth complaining about.

Thank you for your time.

Today is Friday the 13th. Some people associate this day with bad luck. Supposedly the number thirteen has some sort of bad juju attached to it. I'm not going to pretend that I know the origin of this belief, but I do remember hearing once that it has something to do with the last supper. The scientific name for this irrational fear is triskaidekaphobia. I do not suffer from this particular phobia. I will admit that I do suffer from acrophobia, automatonophobia and coulrophobia. Especially coulrophobia. Like just about every other fear, I know, these are all irrational. But getting back to the subject...Friday the 13th has never proved to be unlucky for me. In fact, one of my earliest childhood memories is of finding a 20 dollar bill in the gutter on Friday the 13th. Since then I've considered Friday the 13th to be my lucky day. I can't remember anything out of the ordinary lucky ever happening to me on that day, but I still call it my lucky day. In fact I plan on playing the Powerball later today. Usually I think it's bad luck to buy lottery tickets on days other than when the numbers are drawn. (I wonder what that phobia is called...presaletickaphobia?) But since today is my "lucky" day and the Powerball isn't drawn 'til tomorrow, I think I'll take a chance. I hope it doesn't throw the folks down at the 7-11 off...thinking they've lost a day somewhere. Maybe, after 30 some years, something lucky will actually happen on my lucky day. Maybe I should walk under a ladder while breaking a mirror and spilling salt just to make sure.

Thank you for your time.

This country has finally achieved racial harmony. Don Imus, the cause of all bigotry, prejudice and distrust between black s and whites, has been taken off of the airwaves. Every problem that the African-American community has ever faced is now gone. Thank you Reverends Sharpton and Jackson. It's a good thing you two "men of the cloth" took it upon yourselves to ignore the Christian teachings of "forgive and forget" and "turn the other cheek". Otherwise that horrible monster would still be working. CBS and NBC did the right thing by firing that man. My question is...if they thought what he said was worth firing him for then why did they wait a week to do so? Were they going to ignore the horrible words that came from his mouth until the good Reverend made a stink about it? My guess is yes. So the next people to lose their jobs should be the ones that didn't fire Imus immediately. Here that, Jesse and Al? You two "holy" men better put your bibles down and get going after the next guy in line. Of course, that's just my opinion. Thank God I live in a country where a man can say what he wants without any fear of repercussions.

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I know I'm not the first person to comment on Don Imus and I won't be the last. First off, I want to say that I think what he said was wrong and he never should have said it. I was watching his show that morning and the second it came out of his mouth I knew that the brown stuff had just hit the fan. Like I said, it was wrong of him to say it. There is an old saying...I don't like what you're saying but I will defend to the death your right to say it. This is America. Every citizen of this country has a right to say whatever they feel like saying. There is, however, no right to be heard. If you don't like what Imus said all you have to do is tune him out. Turn off your TV or radio. If his ratings sink low enough he will lose his job. He should not be fired for saying what he said. Some words can offend or even hurt, but they will still be spoken. Often these words are spoken regularly by the very people who claim to be offended by them. Again, Imus was wrong. But he should not be fired for saying what he said. Even if he meant what he said. The so-called "leaders" of the African-American community need to focus on real problems. Gang violence, drug use, unwanted babies, poverty...Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson should spend more time focusing on problems like these and less time trying to get face time on TV acting upset over some words. There will probably be boycotts of the sponsors of Imus' show. That is, until the sponsors agree to pay off the "leaders" of the community. Then they'll be back on TV saying how all the differences have been resolved. Until, course, the next time someone practicing their right to free speech has a slip of the tongue.

Thank you for your time.

There is a rumor, legend, myth, whatever, that says everybody in the world is separated by only six degrees. That basically means that you know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody who knows a hermit living in the Nepalese mountains. I've never put much stock into this notion. That is, until Anna Nichol Smith died. Then I realized that the world is not as big as I thought it was.

Many years ago I enlisted in the U.S. Air Force. As part of the enlistment process I had to submit to a physical examination by a doctor. You know, the whole "turn your head and cough" routine. The doctor who performed these tests on me was none other than Dr. Joshua Perper. The same Dr. Perper who did the autopsy on the late TrimSpa spokesmodel. The same guy who had his hands on my goodies so many years ago had his hands on Anna's just a few weeks ago. If I understand the way it works, that's only two degrees of separation. Which means there are only three degrees between me and everyone that Anna has ever met or worked with or did God knows what with. Now there are probably four degrees or less between me and everyone in Hollywood. And since those Hollywood weirdos love to go off into the Nepalese mountains for meditation or soul cleansing or whatever, I'm only five degrees separated from that nomad I mentioned earlier. Which means I've got a whole extra degree to spare. Maybe I'll use that extra degree to finally go over and meet the people who have been living next door to me for the past five years.

Thank you for your time.

(P.S. - I re-posted this because I realized I called Dr. Perper "Julius" instead of "Joshua". I guess I had Julius Peppers, the football player, in the back of my mind when I originally wrote it.)